Purple
by Ozuchi-Kozuchi
Summary: You'd think they'd know by now not to trust Miranda with certain things. Like purple dye and monkeys. Miranda-centric, very -and I mean very- slight Miranda/Marie. Also, lots of Lau Shimin.


**A/N**: Okay, here's a little Miranda fic, as I love writing Miranda (though it's so hard not to put her difficult situations). I don't know how Order bathrooms are set up, so I winged it. Slight Miranda/Marie, 'cause I'm a shameless shipper. :D

**Disclaimer**: Do not own. _Do_ want.

Miranda Lotto was infamous for being accident prone. It was simply a fact of life, a law of nature, one of those things that people had stopped betting on as the odds never changed. If there was a cup, she'd spill it; a rock, she'd trip over it.

In this particular case, it had been a pot of hair dye and a rug that had been her undoing. Really the Science Division's should have known better than asking her to carry the dye to the storage rooms four floors below; sadly (and likely from sleep-deprivation) they had sent her anyway. Slowly she carried her charge down the hall, carefully watching her feet and what lay in front of her as she didn't wish to be colored by whatever she carried.

By some miracle Miranda had made it down the stairs unscathed and her dye intact. Feeling slightly confident at this point with the door in sight, she picked up her pace just a bit. This is where the rug came in. Like a monster waiting in the shadows it struck, a corner that had been scrunched up by some careless person's hurry viciously hooking on Miranda's shoe. With a screech she tumbled over, the pot bursting open and spilling its contents all over the poor woman.

Sputtering she picked herself off the ground and wiped the liquid from her eyes. She blinked at the scene in front of her: purple was splashed everywhere, on the wall, the offending rug, her outstretched hands, and worse of all a small, previously white monkey who was now looking at his newly purple coat with curious fascination.

Miranda gave a squeak and the monkey turned his attention to her. They stared at each other for a moment before the monkey began washing his tiny hands. With a start, Miranda reached over and picked him up; she didn't know if the concoction was poisonous after all.

She wondered why the small creature was here. Surely the Science Department didn't use monkeys for experiments! She stared intensely at the purple monkey hanging in her hands trying to place him. She knew she'd seen the critter before…

"Oh no," she whispered gravely, her face taking on a look of horror. This was General Klaud's monkey. Worse than that, it was anti-Akuma monkey. Miranda jumped up and looked around frantically for the owner of the monkey who swung like a rag doll every time she moved. "Oh, this is bad, very bad," she muttered. What was its name any way? Lau something… she'd have time to figure out the monkey's name later.

Clutching the monkey to her chest, she raced away from the scene of the crime. Lau gave a squeak of indignation. "Bathroom," Miranda whispered to herself, panicking. "Need a bathroom to wash off the monkey before Klaud finds him." She squeaked in fear as she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. She sprinted towards the nearest bathroom, flung open the door and hurried inside. She placed the monkey on the counter as she closed the door and filled the bathtub. "Oh, please wash out," she begged as she gently carried Lau over to the bath.

Lau however was having none of that. First this crazy lady had dumped the colorful stuff on him and now she was trying to put him in water? He did not like this one bit; he jumped from Miranda's hands and went to the door, wondering where his Accommodator was. He'd have to go find her soon, or she'd worry.

Miranda grabbed the monkey, who screeched at the indignity as he was unceremoniously dunked in the bath. Purple quickly stained the water, much to Miranda's relief. Lau struggled and managed to escape her grasp, quickly jumping out of the water and leaping around the small bathroom. Lau and Miranda tromped through the bathroom leaving smears of purple and puddles of water everywhere. Miranda slipped in one such puddle and hit the floor with a crash.

She stood, rubbing her lower back gingerly when there was a knock at the door, followed by a quiet call of "Miranda?" by the deep voice of Marie.

"Yes?" Miranda called, trying to sound nonchalant but failing miserably as Lau grabbed a lock of her hair causing her voice to rise in pain as she tried to get the monkey off her head.

"I heard shouts and…shrieks? Is Lau Shimin in there? Klaud's been looking for him. Are you alright?" he asked in concern.

"I'm," -she grabbed the furious monkey off her head and dunked him back in the purple water in the tub- ",fine!" she gasped, closing the shower curtain quickly before the monkey could escape. "No monkey in here!" As if to be contrary, Lau gave an earsplitting shriek.

Marie winced on the other side of the door. "You don't sound okay, and that sounded very much like a monkey," Marie said doubtfully. "May I come in?"

Miranda sighed in defeat. "Yes, but please shut the door quickly," she said. "And be wary of puddles."

Marie slipped in swiftly for a man his size and closed the door with a snap. He put a hand against a wall to steady himself in all the water, not realizing it came away purple. Lau was chattering angrily from his curtained prison. "So, what happened here?" asked Marie, a smile playing on his lips. From what he could discern, Lau was in the bathtub, there was water everywhere, and Miranda was clutching the bathtub and dripping onto the tile.

Miranda sniffled, causing Marie to be alarmed and quickly walk the few paces over to her. "I…I dyed the monkey purple," she whispered, covering her face mortified.

Marie stared at Miranda with sightless but confused eyes. Could he have heard her wrong with his super hearing? "You dyed Lau Shimin purple?" he repeated slowly, not quite grasping the concept. He tried to imagine a purple monkey, and in doing so let out a chuckle.

"It's not funny!" protested Miranda. She smiled though; maybe it was a little bit. But still, they had a task. "I'm trying to get the dye out, but he doesn't seem to like me or the water, and I need to refill it. Could you maybe hold him?" she pleaded, even going as far as to clasp her hands together under her chin in a gesture of hope.

"Sure," Marie replied. He reached around the curtain and gently scooped up the sopping wet ball of furry. With him holding onto the small monkey, Miranda quickly drained away the now bright purple water and started filling the tub once again with clean water.

Marie absentmindedly scratched Lau behind the ears, which the monkey didn't seem to mind. By this point Marie's clothes and hands were also purple, whether from the water, the walls or the monkey. Dwarfed by the large man's hands, Lau calmed down slightly, looking warily at the tub. But at least he wasn't bright purple anymore.

Miranda gingerly took the monkey from Marie and set him carefully into the water. As she scrubbed the rest of the purple away the monkey stayed moderately in check, possibly because he was now outnumbered, or simply because he was tired; Miranda didn't care either way as she triumphantly held a once again white monkey out to the towel Marie was holding.

He quickly dried off the monkey as Miranda tried to clean up the mess they'd made of the bathroom, but to no avail as the tile and walls were now stained a lovely shade of purple. Quickly the pair fled the bathroom scene with Lau in hand. They quickly found Klaud thanks to Marie, and went to hand over Lau.

Walking up to the general, Marie led the way. "We found him General," he said, his deep voice catching her attention quickly. She turned away from Tiedoll, with whom she'd been talking to and focused on the pair that brought back Lau. Her eyes widen at the sight of them as she wordlessly took Lau, who climbed up her arm to his place on her shoulder. It took her a moment to compose herself, "Thank you," she said, her voice laced with held in laughter. "I'm sorry he was so much trouble." With a small smile she walked away as the monkey chattered in her ear

"What was that about?" asked Marie, confused. Miranda took a good long look at Marie. His shirt and hands were stained with the purple dye. Remembering her earlier encounter with the rug, she realized that she must be covered in it. And so, she began to laugh.

Marie looked at her curiously. "Why are you laughing?" He didn't mind of course; Miranda had a nice laugh.

"We're purple," she giggled into her hands. Marie chuckled at the thought. "Then we should probably clean up before dinner," he suggested.

"Oh, but what about the bathroom," fretted Miranda as they walked off down the hall. "And the hallway! Everything is purple now."

Marie shrugged, his voice fading away as the turned the corner toward the proper washrooms, "We can always say Komui wanted to redecorate?" Miranda's laugh carried down the hall.

Tiedoll sighed. His kids were growing up so fast. And so purple…


End file.
